Too sudden /// 6/12/2012 01:48:00 AM
From 2 to 8 june is my mid semester test, i thought i could not have enough time to study. so scared i cant cope while i working. i dont want to quit this job. i need money. i just felt that i am going to be 21 years old this year. i dont want to take money from mummy. i want to earn myself.lucily i managed my time well. Mummy went operation. i look happy in the outer layer but actually i will think about it. i will kept ask myself,so is she ok? is the operation over le? is she going to come back after five days. alot alot thing in my mind. on one hand,i scared i did badly for mid semester test. on one hand, i feel super bad never accompany her to hospital.i guess i am a person that worried too much. i guess i did really bad for pom and make alot careless mistake for otbs. hais.
Finally mummy came home. i guess she feel mor comforatable to be at home with her own bed. glad she feeling better.now have to wait for few week to remove the tube at her back .guess everything will be fine for her.
today,my aunt call me. i was really shocked until i dont know how to react.she told me that grandma have passed away. it was really shocking. because she was okay in the morning ,father even call her this morning.it just so sudden. the funeral is 7 days straight. on one hand,i feel really bad cant work,then they need to find people to replace me. On the other hand, i was thinking if i work,what will my aunt or uncle think of me? i just worried too much. kee siao me. Now i will think alot. when do people go after they died? why every year,i tend to lose my loved one. it one after another. i glad my grandma have passed away peacefully. i will always remember 11/6/2012 1pm. The day when it the end stage of your life.
i can feel changes in myself. i became more mean then last time. I will tend to be very mean to some people. I get impatient when people ask me simple question. i get super pissed when people show me pissed off face. i tend to complain something about a person. I guess i expected everyone to be flawless. But noone is perfect.
Amanda♥